COFFEETOWN HS SPORTS

Welcome to Coffeetown, y’all. The home of the amazing and the too-good-to-be-true. The place where the wonder of high school sports is more about stories than stars.

There are things to share here. There are things to wear here.

Read up on the latest ‘news*’ from Coffeetown High School’s sports teams – the Copperheads (*stuff I made up. Or did I?).

Reptile Henderson is probably up to something illegal with a blowtorch or a vehicle. It’s impossible to know for sure.

As we go along, you’ll hear exclusive stories from people you recognize in all walks of life – whether it’s sports, media, business, or space exploration.

You can also read stories that really are true, even though I wish I made them up. You can even submit your own right here.

For those of you asking me to do Coffeetown voiceovers of videos that you own the rights to, or any other impressions and projects on demand, we can talk turkey, too.

Yes, I’ll be asking you to follow and subscribe to Coffeetown’s social media accounts and pages to consume and share all of it with the people who are missing out.

Go ahead and take the time to do so on @GoCoffeetown’s Twitter, Instagram, YouTube and Facebook pages.

We all have a high school sports story or 50 that just won’t leave our mental real estate, no matter how hard we try to evict it

Sometimes they’re fun. Sometimes they make your eyes sweat a bit. They’re always worth bonting over, because so many of us have similar yarns to spin.

Your’s wilcome to share your own on The Snake Pit forum, as well.

There’s no tale too tall over there. No fish story too unimaginable.

Share your own and see how you measure up against everyone else’s – or the fictional ones I come up with – no matter which sport or division made you the person you are today.

Maybe you saw Nacho Davis deadlift a car in the Piggly Wiggly padking lot and you want to play along with the lore of Coffeetown.

Maybe you actually did that yourself, or maybe your buddy claims he did but you want to call him out for it in front of the entire country.

It’s all on the table.

There’s a simple goal here:

I want to open the doors to a place that celebrates America’s purest sporting institution and the stories that make it magical and necessary through the generations.

In case you skipped to the end, I’m talking about High School Sports. And no matter what your affiliation is or was with them, you have an experience of your own worth sharing here.

You also have people willing to listen and swap their own.

There is a membership structure in this Coffeetown Booster Club.

In these first few months, you may pay whatever you’d like to the Copperhead Athletics Fundraiser and join up for a year.

You’re also welcome to sign up as a Standard Booster right out of the gate, or you can become a Big-Money Booster each year and receive a customized Coffeetown shirsey with your name and number on it.

No matter what you choose to do, I encourage you to snag a spot. Sign up.

You won’t be able to read all of these stories and engage with all of the Coffeetown fans on The Snake Pit message board without a membership.

The Coffeetown booster club* (*that’s me) appreciates any and all amounts as we start this program from the ground up.

This one’s been a long time comin’ ever since I started a satirical video series about high school football radio announcers in my car in a LA Fitness parking lot.

Clearly, I didn’t know where it would go then. I don’t know now. But I’m glad this place is finally here.

Glad you’re here, too. You’re kind of the reason I decided this was all worth it, after all.

Let that turkey work!

– Wes